Master Wax's Broken Bottomless Bags 03
Master Wax's Broken Bottomless Bags 01
Master Wax's Broken Bottomless Bags 02
Master Wax's Broken Bottomless Bags 04

Broken Bottomless Bag

Regular price $180.00

Master Wax, purveyor of purses, pouches, portmanteaus… and various other contrivances for carting things around whose names do not begin with ‘P.’  When Master Wax introduced his Bottomless Bags, the only P-Word that came to mind was problems.  They were numerous.  Shall I list them?  

Let’s start with the superficial.  The design, while eye-catching, was so obvious, so overt that no self-respecting member of the magical community—who loath such simplistic and limiting definition but nonetheless do require some convenient method of allusion—would ever be seen carrying one in public.  By their reckoning, they’d be outing themselves—either as more or less than human, or, far more likely, as weirdos.  

The more serious issues lie within.  Master Wax defines his sacks as bottomless: 

“Produced using a Proprietary Charm, the bags will hold as much as you can manage to fit through the drawstringed-mouth, etc., etc…”

Unfortunately, his proprietary charm is, ninety-nine percent of the time, perfectly ineffective, rendering his sacks quite thoroughly bottomed.  However, once in a blue moon or thereabouts, the charm will kick unpredictably into effect—the result being that whatever was in the bag at the time goes tumbling irretrievably into some nebulous pocket dimension or other, never to be seen or heard from again.  

Master Wax's Bottomless Bags, as he likes to call them (though sacks would be far superior alliteration) are not suited to those who wish to, say, carry around a private library on their shoulders, or make off with several hundred kilos of gold bullion with the constables none the wiser.  However, if you happen to be in the market for a largish, gaudy pouch, which has a tendency to periodically disappear all of your belongings forever, you may very well never come across a better opportunity.  I would like to note that they would also make suiting gifts for unloved relatives, and those who plan to transport compromising videotape that you wish the world to be rid of.  

Supplies are limited, so act fast.  Even duds such as these must surely vanish from the shelves eventually.  

 

Details: A drawstring shoulder bag of rich, royal blue velvet with a red velvet lining.  Meticulously decorated with shockingly reflective stars and moons, so that in the right light it resembles a night sky.  Gold rope drawstring and gold rope shoulder shoulder strap.  Most importantly, enchanted with Master Wax's proprietary charm.  Periodically and inconsistently bottomless.  

Disclaimer: Greyburne's takes no responsibility for the loss of items, small pets, or digits to the pocket dimension contained within each and every bag.  Greyburne's guarantees neither bottomlessness nor bottom.  All risk is assumed by customer at moment of purchase.  Use of bag to dispose of hazardous or sensitive materials is not recommended, as they may reappear at inopportune moments.  Consider keeping a list of things put inside.